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Surprise ShortFic!

credit - grandcross
Title: I See No Wrinkles Here
Pairing: Nostalgia Critic/Ask That Guy, but only if you squint.
Disclaimer: Not mine, will never be mine and, considering what I do to the Critic in this, that's probably a good thing. So don't kill me, fanboys?
Word Count: 685
A/N: Guys, if you didn't likefreya_sacksen 's epilogue for her "In Space" fic, then you probably won't like this too much. I had to get this dark!fic plotbunny out of the way and it pretty much just piles on the angst and darkness... With that said, enjoy!

It had been a hundred years. A hundred years since he thought he had managed to save everyone. He had screamed when he found out, when Ask That Guy and Insano had managed to revive him. Screamed and panicked and, in doing so, forever peaking their interest like a fucking idiot.

Insano wasn't that bad. Clearly wanting Linkara to play with instead, he was only really interested in tearing him open and seeing what was inside. It was pretty much the same as before. And, same as before, it was Ask That Guy that was the problem. Twenty-six years of growing up with someone, then becoming enemies and then becoming completely... theirs was usually a recipe for disaster.

Right now, they were watching old cartoons. It was ridiculously stupid; people were dying, he had no idea if his friends were still alive or not and he was either watching shows he loved when he was a kid, protecting Ask That Guy against anyone who wanted to kill him or being the go-to guy if anyone wanted anything. But, even with Ask That Guy watching them with him, it felt warm and safe watching green turtles with an obsession for pizza.

"Before I forget, I slaughtered one of the guards a few hours ago."

It hurt that he wasn't even upset by this anymore. "And?"

Ask That Guy laughed, condescendingly. "And I'd like you to clean him up, silly."

He sighed and got up but as he did so, his elbow caught the jug of water that was on the side table. Before he had realized, it had smashed on the plush carpet and water was everywhere. He was vaguely aware of his hands trembling but other than that, he couldn't move.

"I fucked up," he said in a small voice.

"It's just water and glass; you can clean it up in a minute." As patronizing as ever.

"You don't understand." It came out as more of a moan of pain than anything else. "I fucked up. I- I was supposed to end everything... I was supposed to actually end." God, he was so old now, so tired. He didn't have wrinkles, he didn't have grey hair - he would have still looked like he did when he was twenty-six if it hadn't been for the lack of food and the wounds all over his body - but he had still been alive for so long. It wasn't fair.

Ask That Guy patted him on the shoulder, clearly wanting to be anywhere else. "You always were a bit of a fuck-up," he said, like that was supposed to make it okay.

He was fucking crying now, shaking and not even able to breathe. Out of pure habit from long, long ago, he buried his face in Ask That Guy's neck. It smelt like entrails that had been left in the sun too long. "I still love you," he mumbled.

Now that got the other man panicked. "Excuse me?"

The words were tiny. "I love you. A- after everything you've done to me, God, I still love you. I don't even know fucking why, you were always an evil freak but I still...,” he trailed off, breaking down in sobs that made his stomach hurt. What happened to him? What made him this fucking screwed up? Next to Chester (and godfuckit, he would have never imagined that he'd miss Chester this bad) and Ask That Guy, he had always been the one with his sanity still tenuously attached. And now look at him.

Ask That Guy patted him hard on his lower back - where he had been burned badly from a few days ago - making him stifle a yell. "There, there, you're alright."

Just then, Insano called on the intercom. "Ask That Guy? We've found another planet."

"I need to get that," Ask That Guy said to him, falsely sweet and like he was talking to an idiot child.

"Just go." He wiped his eyes, feeling like a mess.

"Got over your temper tantrum? Are you going to wait up for me tonight?"

"Yes, sir."

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
aunt_zelda
Sep. 13th, 2009 08:42 pm (UTC)
*gulps* Er ...
My head hurts trying to sort out this parodox, but I DO like this fic, because it appeals to my Doctor/Master fangirl, who is one twisted individual if I do say so myself.

The words were tiny. "I love you. A- after everything you've done to me, God, I still love you. I don't even know fucking why, you were always an evil freak but I still...,” he trailed off, breaking down in sobs that made his stomach hurt. What happened to him? What made him this fucking screwed up? Next to Chester (and godfuckit, he would have never imagined that he'd miss Chester this bad) and Ask That Guy, he had always been the one with his sanity still tenuously attached. And now look at him.
Ask That Guy patted him hard on his lower back - where he had been burned badly from a few days ago - making him stifle a yell. "There, there, you're alright."

*wibbles* Oh god, NC ... (this is a great mental picture, btw. Well, awful, but I can see everything very clearly ...)

"I need to get that," Ask That Guy said to him, falsely sweet and like he was talking to an idiot child.
"Just go." He wiped his eyes, feeling like a mess.
"Got over your temper tantrum? Are you going to wait up for me tonight?"
"Yes, sir."

*cries* And I thought 'The Year That Never Was' fics were depressing!
emeriin
Sep. 14th, 2009 08:07 pm (UTC)
My head hurts trying to sort out this parodox

It hurt mine too. Either there's another Critic running around with his faction and doing the exact same thing as this Critic did or the timeline's been changed because of Ask That Guy's new knowledge. It's best not to think about it.

because it appeals to my Doctor/Master fangirl, who is one twisted individual if I do say so myself.

Speaking of twisted things, I wish I knew why I keep writing this fricking pairing. While I love it, I am so going to the special hell...

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it - or, well, liked it in that special depressing!fic way. ;)
aunt_zelda
Sep. 15th, 2009 09:17 pm (UTC)
It hurt mine too. Either there's another Critic running around with his faction and doing the exact same thing as this Critic did or the timeline's been changed because of Ask That Guy's new knowledge. It's best not to think about it.
Oh, I've got it now! This Critic (the one in your fic) will either die or kill himself between being captured and the Space Travel Shenanigans (he is the Future Critic). Insano and Ask that Guy will capture the Current Critic around the time of the Battle of Santa Muerte, and thus the circle will be complete.

Speaking of twisted things, I wish I knew why I keep writing this fricking pairing. While I love it, I am so going to the special hell...
Yeah, but what does it say about me READING and COMMENTING and KINDA LIKING this? We're all going to Special Hell, m'dear, it's just a question of how deep.
I suppose we're all striving to find our 'OTP' of this crazy fandom. I think mine is Linkara/Insano, but I've written so many that I really can't be certain. I guess we all need to write more fic, and eventually OTPs will emerge. We have a plethora of pairings, it's just a matter of picking and choosing now. (Imagine years from now if people have whole communities devoted to Insano/Linkara and NC/AVGN and BenzaieBangsEveryone!)

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it - or, well, liked it in that special depressing!fic way. ;)
I did. And now, I must go work on a fanmix! *strides off looking purposeful*
emeriin
Sep. 16th, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
This Critic (the one in your fic) will either die or kill himself between being captured and the Space Travel Shenanigans (he is the Future Critic). Insano and Ask that Guy will capture the Current Critic around the time of the Battle of Santa Muerte, and thus the circle will be complete.

That makes a scary, if extremely depressing, amount of sense. ;) *gives you a Linkara-shaped cookie for working it all out*

I think mine is Linkara/Insano, but I've written so many that I really can't be certain. I guess we all need to write more fic, and eventually OTPs will emerge. We have a plethora of pairings, it's just a matter of picking and choosing now.

Hmm. While I love shipping them all (and this Big Bang is practically bursting with crack ships), I think my main OTP is Critic/Nerd while my dirtysickwrong - because everyone has at least one, right? - OTP is Ask That Guy/Critic. And of course, Nella/Nostalgia Chick and Insano/Linkara are among my favourites. *grins*
pyrocrastinator
Sep. 14th, 2009 01:03 am (UTC)
:( *hugs the perpetually traumatized Critic*

Great story. And once again - AskThatGuy is perfect.
emeriin
Sep. 14th, 2009 07:46 pm (UTC)
And once again - AskThatGuy is perfect.

Should I be worried that he always seems to come out so right? I think I should be worried. ;) Thanks for reading!
freya_sacksen
Sep. 14th, 2009 01:18 am (UTC)
Wow, and I thought I was cruel to the Critic.

Very well-written and plotted out. Also, suitable creepy and eeeeevil. I love the way that you write Ask That Guy - he comes across as being so horrific and yet almost charming at the same time.

Dammit, now I want to write an 'In Space' Insano/Linkara fic...
emeriin
Sep. 14th, 2009 07:44 pm (UTC)
Wow, and I thought I was cruel to the Critic.

It was fun to do it, at least this once. And maybe a couple times more...

I love the way that you write Ask That Guy - he comes across as being so horrific and yet almost charming at the same time.

It's funny how I was so terrified of writing him at one point, now I can't seem to stop.

Dammit, now I want to write an 'In Space' Insano/Linkara fic...

Do it! It's your fault that this ficlet exists anyway and I'm on a dark!fic kick at the moment. ;)
freya_sacksen
Sep. 14th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC)
No, no, no, no, no, I can't do it...yet. The ficlet I have in mind would spoil (sort of) things I want to do in the Prequel!Fic, so it will, alas, have to wait.

Maybe. Who knows, I might be able to get it together before then and get it to make sense.
aunt_zelda
Sep. 15th, 2009 09:20 pm (UTC)
As long as you DO ultimately write it ... Linkara/Insano has been relatively tame thus far, I think we deserve some kinkiness.
Are there handcuffs? Terrifying space handcuffs? PLEASE?!
freya_sacksen
Sep. 15th, 2009 09:22 pm (UTC)
Yes. Yes there are.
aunt_zelda
Sep. 15th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
...
*my squee breaks the sound barrier*
...
YAY! *flings arms around you*
emeriin
Sep. 16th, 2009 02:57 pm (UTC)
*rubs hands in glee* I can't wait. :D Now if I only could encourage ryou's slave!fic plotbunny...
(Deleted comment)
emeriin
Sep. 15th, 2009 12:36 pm (UTC)
Hey, I'm all for you going to dirty places and having filthy plotbunnies. :D *feeds them extra-strong rabbit food* Breed, plotbunnies, breed!

Heh, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
fininevermore
Dec. 8th, 2009 05:50 pm (UTC)
My goodness. That's frickin' scary. Poor NC. I see you went the time loop route. It's so sad to see him so broken, holding on to the very last snatch of his sanity, which disturbingly, is Ask That Guy.
emeriin
Dec. 11th, 2009 01:10 am (UTC)
I see you went the time loop route.

How could I not? I couldn't resist a bit more BreakTheCutie.

It's so sad to see him so broken, holding on to the very last snatch of his sanity, which disturbingly, is Ask That Guy.

Yeah... I can't imagine how messed up you'd have to be to actually need Ask That Guy in order to stay the slightest bit sane. *huggles him tight*
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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emeriin
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