Doctor Who

The Master and The Drag Queen, NC-17, set after "The Sound Of Drums", Master/Doctor
In which the Master makes the Doctor dress up pretty.

Corruption, R, Master/John Smith
In which the Master has fun with John Smith.

House

I Vomit Into Your Hand Like A Jackpot, part one and part two, PG-13, Wilson/House
Yet another one of those "Wilson loses it after Amber's death and takes it out on House" fics.

Life On Mars

For There Was Never A Tale Of More Woe, PG, Gen
All of you sit down, I'm going to tell you a story.

Lesson Learnt, PG, Gen
You need a little girl to teach you that everything's gone to hell.

Puppet Man, PG-13, Ray/Sam
Don't be a fool, can't you see that you're being played?

Supernatural

if you left me then surely we'd die, R, disturbing themes and imagery, Sam/Dean
This is a story about Sam'n'Dean, Dean'n'Sammy, they don't/can't/don't want to exist without the other.

i grew old and forgot your name, R, D/S, necrophilia, dub!con, Sam/Dean
Sam had met someone. In the asylum.

That Guy With The Glasses

Entertainment, PG-13, Nostalgia Critic/Ask That Guy
The Critic is bored, Ask That Guy doesn't care.

Sex Pollen Makes You Do The Wacky, R, Nostalgia Critic/Angry Video Game Nerd, Dr. Insano/Linkara, Nella/Nostalgia Chick
Sex pollen is not exactly something you want to screw up on...

I See No Wrinkles Here, PG-13, set after freya_sacksen's "In Space" verse, Nostalgia Critic/Ask That Guy
In which the Critic has a well-deserved breakdown.

Drabbles:

1. Spooning With Spoony: Boys Edition. Critic/Spoony/Linkara
2. Nella comforts the Chick after Bratz. Nella/Nostalgia Chick
3. Dr. Insano finally takes what he wants. Set during the "In Space" verse, disturbing themes and imagery. Dr. Insano/Linkara
4. Ask That Guy has a little bit more fun with the Critic's mind. Set during the "In Space" verse, same warnings. Nostalgia Critic/Ask That Guy

Withnail And I

One Good Day, R, gross sex, Withnail/Marwood
Sex and puke really don't mix...

I know it's a day late, gorgeous girl, but Happy Anniversary again. I will always love you, you're my amazing angel and I'm looking so forward to seeing you again next week. :D I adore you. xxx

Hey, does anyone know where pyrocrastinator went? I saw that she deleted her journal a few days ago and I was just wondering if anybody knew what had happened.

Title: Never To Be Mentioned Again
Fandom: That Guy With The Glasses (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, check out www.thatguywiththeglasses.com)
Pairings: Nostalgia Chick/Nella, Nostalgia Chick/Nostalgia Critic, Nostalgia Chick/Spoony/That Chick With The Goggles/Benzaie, Critic/Ask That Guy, Critic/Angry Video Game Nerd, Linkara/Dr. Insano, Linkara/MarzGurl, Dr. Insano/MarzGurl and many more implied.
Word Count: 10,159 words
Rating: PG-13 for swearing and lots of talk about sex.
Warning: Kid!Fic, serious messing with internet celebrities, established relationships and hamfisted in-jokes to the fandom and other fanfic.
Summary: Consider this a cautionary tale on why geeks and children don't mix. Especially when it comes to geeks who have been turned into children.
A/N: Written for polybigbang 2009. Fanart by the darling kaizoku(and will be up shortly) and beta'ed by the fabulous heirii. The usual disclaimers apply and feedback is always loved.

( Part One )

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
emeriin goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as The Nostalgia Chick.
apiphile gives you 5 purple passionfruit-flavoured jawbreakers.
aunt_zelda gives you 7 blue evil-flavoured nuggets.
bubosquared tricks you! You get a toothbrush.
freya_sacksen gives you 5 pink spearmint-flavoured pieces of taffy.
heirii gives you 18 light orange banana-flavoured jawbreakers.
kaizoku tricks you! You lose 9 pieces of candy!
purple_fruits gives you 13 brown spearmint-flavoured gumdrops.
pyrocrastinator gives you 10 softly glowing vanilla-flavoured gummy bats.
ryou49 gives you 18 milky white vanilla-flavoured gummy bats.
wanttobeatree gives you 18 white coconut-flavoured gummy bats.
emeriin ends up with 85 pieces of candy, and a toothbrush.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Would you all have been so nice if I hadn't dressed up like the Nostalgia Chick? Huh? Huh?

Meme ganked from wanttobeatree
The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you


In other news, the new Bum Review of "Where The Wild Things Are" is out today. I won't spoil it for you but, my God, the woobiedom was especially strong in this one. *pets him and gives him change*

A bruised, swollen foot and a period at the exact same time? *groans and looks heavenward* Someone up there hates me...

I'll admit it, I was terrified of this review. Bratz are evil!  Oh, hey, marketing team, Barbie isn't in anymore so we need to sell dolls that look like sluts to young girls and terrify their parents! In a sense, this film was even worse than Garbage Pail Kids: Nobody knew how horrible that film was going to be and so we just went in blindly. With Bratz? Oh God...

That said, the review (and the foeyay, as heirii so rightly told me) was epic.

First of all, Critic? Making her review this racist bit of shit? Spending a little too much time with Ask That Guy, are we?

"I am the Master and you are the subordinate." *shivers* I'm in kind of two minds about it, though. On the one hand, where did that come from and can we see more of it? On the other... Critic, sweetie, refresh my memory, exactly who got who pregnant?

Bhargav, yay! "Heart!"

John Voight, WHY? *breaks down in tears*

Monty Python reference, also yay!

8.56: Uh, yeah, Critic? Just because you masochistically make yourself watch bad movies, doesn't mean you have to force others to. Just sayin'

As much as I don't get the appeal of Terminator, it has some lovely music.

And she gets in another dig at Michael Bay! *sighs in delight* That's my girl.

Hi, Rob! :D

Doug has a huge, lovely house and I'm still jealous.

Awwwwww at Critic trying to make himself taller and the Chick pushing him back down (although, God, he really is tall), the hug and, in a weird way, the double chloroforming. And hee! at the Critic copping a feel. (Also, they've pretty much given up on trying to sink the ship and are just going with it now, aren't they?)

A six-days-late anniversary post is still an anniversary post, right baby? Innyway, I will always love you, I can't wait to spend forever with you and I'm looking forward to hearing all about your air guitar exploits tomorrow. ;)

Well, I met my Mum yesterday. I wouldn't say that I didn't enjoy it (seeing as how I haven't seen her in a month and all) but she's still denying things and still doesn't know what she wants so I can't help but feel disappointed. *sighs*

In even more depressing news, I have six whole days of twelve hour shifts to get through. *sobs* Dear God, someone help me...

To end this on a much happier note; The new NC episode list is up and it has a crossover with Linkara (Superman IV) at the end of October and the Star Wars Holiday Special at the end of December! *rubs hands in both excitement and anticipation for some epic suffering*

Stolen from just about everyone:

Ask me a fandom (that I know of!), and I will tell you:
- OTP
- Runner-up
- Honorable mention(s)
- Crack pairing(s)
- Ship everyone else seems to like, but I don't

Someone agreed to do art for my Big Bang fic, yay!

I- I can't believe I'm saying this but does anyone have recs for some good Charmed femme!slash? I know, I know, I'm ashamed but I was watching D'Eartha's episodes the other day and I really want some dubcon fic between her and Paige. *runs away in embarrassment*

Regarding the new job: Tired... so very tired...

Okay, you need more than that: I'm on a Health & Social Care Apprenticeship and I'm working at a care home about half an hour away from where I live. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy it but seriously, a four day week with twelve hour shifts is hard for someone who hasn't had a job since January.

bubosquaredliked the bit in I Get My Kicks On Route 66, where there was a blowjob at 80 mph:

First Line: The Nostalgia Critic was almost certain that he'd been drunk when he had agreed to this.

Last Line: And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, you should never go on a road trip with a psychopath.

The Thing That Made Me Want To Write It: Two things, really; Because I seem to be the NC/ATG girl of the fandom and the idea of these two boys going on a roadtrip without managing to kill each other is just too fun.

The Biggest Problem I Had While Writing It: Do you have any idea how hard it is to write sex between two guys who look the same and not have it come off as stupid?

Why It Almost Never Got Posted: My conscience tried to get in the way. Luckily, I managed to bribe it with chocolate and it finally calmed down.

The Scene That Hit The Cutting Room Floor: The alternate ending to the blowjob scene, where Ask That Guy swerved (at 80 mph, mind you) as he, uh, finished and caused three innocent families to die when their cars crashed. Ask That Guy was very displeased that it got deleted but it came off as just a little too mean.

chocolate_frappliked the bit in What's This?, where Wilson was kissing House's neck:

First Line: House had no idea why Wilson suddenly had tentacles but he was more than willing to find out.

Last Line: He guessed it was true what they say; once you try octupus, you're changed for life.

The Thing That Made Me Want To Write It: Because apiphileis a horrible influence and gave me a strange love for tentacles?

The Biggest Problem I Had While Writing It: Wilson didn't want to be an octupus, damnit!

Why It Almost Never Got Posted: Because, sadly, tentacle!sex is still a taboo in the House fandom.

The Scene That Hit The Cutting Room Floor: The scene where Octopus!Wilson strangled Thirteen. Sorry, heirii, I tried...

freya_sacksen liked the bit in I Left My Hat In San Fransisco, where Linkara's trilby had sex with the Critic's baseball cap:

First Line: Linkara was in a panic; he had never been without his hat for this long before and no matter where he looked, he couldn't find it.

Last Line: (I quite honestly have no idea, I was too busy thinking about trilby!babies!) 

The Thing That Made Me Want To Write It: Because sports-loving Triby!Babies are a terrible thing not to have in an already crack!tastic fandom.

The Biggest Problem I Had While Writing It: Why would a baseball cap get pregnant, why would it have six babies and more importantly, why would the babies look like the father?

Why It Almost Never Got Posted: Because fanboys scare me and I'm fairly sure hat!sex is in a whole other dimension of crazy.

The Scene That Hit The Cutting Room Floor: There was going to be a scene in which Linkara and the Critic had drunk!sex and left their clothes everywhere, thus enabling hat!sex but I don't know... I just didn't feel like writing human sex at the time. *ducks*

heiriiliked the bit in Now I Like Transformers, where Michael Bay and the Nostalgia Chick were comparing their robot testicles and their robot breasts respectively:

First Line: The Nostalgia Chick woke up with a roaring migraine and a pain in her chest. She could tell you this much; if she found that she had slept with Spoony again, someone was going to lose an eye.

Last Line: She walked home happily, with Michael Bay's bleeding head tucked away in her bag.

The Thing That Made Me Want To Write It: The FoeYay aspect was just too much for me to resist. I am so, so sorry.

The Biggest Problem I Had While Writing It: How would the Nostalgia Chick get robot breasts anyway? But then I figured Michael Bay was an evil bastard and all was sorted.

Why It Almost Never Got Posted: Again, conscience. That little bitch is tricky to manage.

The Scene That Hit The Cutting Room Floor: The scene where she actually tore Michael Bay apart with her new robot limbs. On the one hand, it was most cathartic. On the other, it was rather graphic so it had to be trashed.

This is what happens when I get stuck on a Big Bang with only 1,000 words to go until I hit the minimum required, I steal interesting-looking memes from jantalaimon

Give me the title of a story I've never written (in a fandom that you know I can write in), and feedback telling me what you liked best about it, and I will tell you any of: the first sentence, the last sentence, the thing that made me want to write it, the biggest problem I had while writing it, why it almost never got posted, the scene that hit the cutting room floor but that I wish I'd been able to salvage, or something else that I want readers to know.

Title: I See No Wrinkles Here
Pairing: Nostalgia Critic/Ask That Guy, but only if you squint.
Disclaimer: Not mine, will never be mine and, considering what I do to the Critic in this, that's probably a good thing. So don't kill me, fanboys?
Word Count: 685
A/N: Guys, if you didn't likefreya_sacksen's epilogue for her "In Space" fic, then you probably won't like this too much. I had to get this dark!fic plotbunny out of the way and it pretty much just piles on the angst and darkness... With that said, enjoy!

( I am so sorry... )